Swig Knowledge

Intro – What I Do!

What do I do? I drink. I drink a lot. Do I guzzle full bottles of vodka Nicholas Cage style as in “Leaving Las Vegas,” no, but I love booze. I was the head buyer for one of the busiest restaurants in the world, trying new wines and liquors from around the world every day. I quit my job to head to Europe alone and drank my face off through 42 cities and 14 countries. The picture to the left is of me drinking Absinthe while in Prague. I even hit Oktoberfest in Munich and taught many nationalities that Americans can actually drink beer and the Italians, Spanish and French that I could not only drink and hold my wine, but I could speak intelligently about it.

What is this blog? It's a forum for me to tell you what I'm drinking past, present and future. It's to tell you what's hot, what's not, and what plainly just sucks. Why would you listen to me? Cause I know my shit and you don't. In fact, over 90% of Americans have no idea what they are drinking. Think about it: ladies how many times have you ordered a Chardonnay at the bar and had no idea what it was or where it was from; or guys, how many times have or ordered a vodka tonic and received shit vodka? How about when you go to the store or a restaurant and ask for a recommendation, only to be hit by the most expensive item on the menu? They know you're a sucker. Lets face it people, we are clueless. Yes, I was too until I found a passion to learn about these things.

Why else should you listen to me? Because no one is paying me to write this stuff. It is my opinion as an expert. I will never tell you to like something because someone paid me – besides, you will only like what you like anyway; no matter what marketers want you to buy.

One of my favorite stories is when I was bar tending in college at a country club in Alabama, we had two regulars that would bring in friends every Saturday night. One night the Ramsey's we'll call them, brought in two couples. The Ramsey's were in real estate and were new money. They would order wine from me based on price. The more expensive the bottle, the more they would order it. Well on this night, I thought I would try something different. The day before, I had been to the state store to pick up booze for the club. The older clerk made me an offer I could not refuse by offering magnums of Cabernet for $4 a bottle. That's right, $4 for three liters of crap wine. I don't remember the name of the wine, but it doesn't matter...it was pure crap. I figured I could pour it off as a house wine for a wedding one day, but when I saw the Ramsey's that night, I put a plan into action.

At first, they asked me for a reserve list of bottles and I told them I had a wonderful Napa Valley Cabernet since I knew they loved Jordan. They asked me the name and I made something up, noting that the wine was full bodied and full of plum, lush berries, and had hints of tobacco, leather, and a bit of earth tones. I had no idea what I was talking about. These were just words I had read off the back of a bottle somewhere, but they bought it hook, line and sinker. Mr. Ramsey laughed and ordered six glasses, which I discretely poured from the large bottle behind the bar. Mr. Ramsey took the first sip and I held my breath. “Magnificent,” he exclaimed in a southern accent. “Cole knows his fucking wine!” Truth was I didn't know shit, but I sold them shit by making it sound good.

They drank several glasses and asked to see the label, but I told them I had just tossed the bottle and the barback had just taken it out. My manager came in and asked for the same wine for the Ramsey's once they were in the dining room and I grabbed another large bottle to open. He was pissed when he found out, spurting out, “How dare you give them that? I am taking them a bottle of Jordan.” He returned within a few minutes and said they wanted what I was giving them. I laughed and poured two more bottles throughout the night.

The point of the story? People don't know a fuck about what they are drinking and they should. I am here to guide you through the multiple layers of shit to find the good stuff you'll love.